“The (person) who writes about (their)self and (their) own time is the only (person) who writes about all people and all time.”
– George Bernard Shaw
winter is bad for me. i always try to muscle through it but it drags me down so far. i feel like a different person from december to march, even when i soak in as much sunlight as i can. i wish i could move to a slightly warmer, sunnier state but that seems very, very unlikely. still, things are turning around. daylight savings has passed, the snow is melting, and the sunset goes well until after corey gets home. it’s looking up.
i get bogged down in the shitty things that surround me. i have a lot of empthy and anxiety, and together this is a real bummer. i’ve resigned to spend more time this spring only with things i enjoy. i often read, watch, and hang out with people that add to my depression. i’m going to cut that out because i just can’t make time for that right now. i will cuddle with my cats, watch the things that inspire and make me smile over and over, and read work from people that make me laugh not cry. drama and awarenss are great to appreciate but right now i just need to wrap myself in the things that give me butterflies in my stomach and big open-mouth smiles.
i need to stop letting the haters get to me. that’s how they win.
i’m SO READY for the growing season. i have a new home where i can actually start seeds inside and plant things in the ground. i can finally get a rain barrel and have so little cement in my yard that i barely even notice it. seeing fresh sprouts makes me so so happy and i’m looking forward to harvesting my favorite snacks, both old and new.
i will do things for myself, and make the things i want to make instead of just wishing i would. i will pat myself on the back when i’m amazing, which is often and always. i downplay a lot of my talents and don’t put myself out there because of the times i’ve been rejected or looked down at. i need to show others all of the great things i have bubbling under the surface.
i have a new job on the way where i’ll be a bike and beer-fueled tour guide. you may have heard of the pedal tavern from when corey worked on it last year. i’m going to give it a try this time around. of course participants won’t have to drink, they can just pedal around town or create their own gallery night, but its also a really fun option to getting a cab to bar hop. i’ll be outside, meeting new and happy people, and getting tips! it will be good for me, i know it.
i feel like new years resolutions are better suited for spring cleaning, because its the best time for change.